As I reported last time, I was let go from my job. While there was a level of frustration at the job, there were many things I enjoyed about it. The freedom to learn and work with other departments. (oh wait, that was one of the reasons given for letting me go, that I was interested in moving to another department because I wanted to learn new skills). Working with CPS and the Game of the Week program. It got my sports fix in and was AWESOME! But mainly, the #1 thing I enjoyed was the people I worked with. I honestly have nothing bad to say about any of them. From the sales staff that I worked with on a day-to-day basis to everyone that I talked with, did things with, and whatnot, I loved working there. It was the first job I had where I did not put up a front and was just me. Granted, there were some aspects of my personality that I kept calm and slightly under wraps (this was an office after all), but I really let the person who I was come out and I did not hide her.
When I left, I contacted some of my former co-workers via LinkedIn and asked if they would mind writing a recommendation for me. I do not know if future employers look at your LinkedIn profile, but I figure it did not help to have the endorsement of the people I supported and worked with. The ones I have received so far have made me feel like the Grinch when his heart swelled. I felt like mine was going to burst out of my chest, I was so touched. While I do not want to share the full text here, these are some of the key words used.
"hard working business professional, strong work ethic, passion for doing the job correctly the first time, creative, one of the BEST assistants I have worked with, an asset, loyal, thorough, compassion, willing to do more, talented, hard worker, positive manner, helpful, created things I was proud to present, hard working (again), detail oriented, goes above and beyond, takes initiative, wonderful work ethic."
See why my heart grew? These were not even people on the team I was paid to support, they were from people who I volunteered to help or who asked me to assist them. I am going to miss each and every one of them.
26 May 2009
22 May 2009
Doors Close, Windows Open...somewhere
I lost my job today.
Wow, that is an inspiring way to start, isn't it? =) Talk about one of those out-of-left-field, hit you in the solar plexus, knock you on your ass moments. The reason given was that my "skills do not match the direction we want to take the department." Uhm.....ok? I seriously think my direct manager had it in for me and did not like me. Granted, the man NEVER talked to me. I have been after him for 4 months to do my annual review. The one I do the most work has never said anything negative to me, which makes this even more shocking. I do so much for her and she has never had a complaint. Why now? What happened? You have to love those questions. There is no answer, you have to pick up your bootstraps and keep on keeping on.
Here's the thing though. A good number of the AE's, EXCEPT the ones that I was supporting told me that it was BS, that I was the best AE they had, that I made things look and sound more professional, that I always had presentations done ahead of schedule, that ...... Basically, I rocked in their mind. And so many of them offered to put out feelers with agencies that they work with to see if there were any openings. That felt so AWESOME! I have never had anyone cry over my leaving, and that happened today. The one downside, is that I did not have the chance to say goodbye in person to everyone that I wanted to. They want to get you out the door as quietly as possible.
I could be pissed off and negative about all of this. I could. I mean, I have had two "adult" jobs in Chicago and been fired from both of them, which is so crazy as I had not been fired from a job before I moved here. Which is really weird that working in Chicago would get me fired TWICE. But that would be destructive and not help, so why bother. So, I am being a dork and quoting a line from The Sound of Music. "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." Which I do believe. The job I just lost was an open window that introduced me to some great people who really touched my life in a positive way and who I hope to stay in contact with.
But now I have to move forward. I have no idea where I am going to go from here, other than do the happy little march down to the unemployment office on Tuesday. Today will probably be spent going through the box of stuff I removed from my desk. I really kept a lot of shoes hidden under my desk.....
Ok, the tequila is kicking in and I am getting loopy. This is as good a place as any to say, "Always look on the bright side of life".....
Wow, that is an inspiring way to start, isn't it? =) Talk about one of those out-of-left-field, hit you in the solar plexus, knock you on your ass moments. The reason given was that my "skills do not match the direction we want to take the department." Uhm.....ok? I seriously think my direct manager had it in for me and did not like me. Granted, the man NEVER talked to me. I have been after him for 4 months to do my annual review. The one I do the most work has never said anything negative to me, which makes this even more shocking. I do so much for her and she has never had a complaint. Why now? What happened? You have to love those questions. There is no answer, you have to pick up your bootstraps and keep on keeping on.
Here's the thing though. A good number of the AE's, EXCEPT the ones that I was supporting told me that it was BS, that I was the best AE they had, that I made things look and sound more professional, that I always had presentations done ahead of schedule, that ...... Basically, I rocked in their mind. And so many of them offered to put out feelers with agencies that they work with to see if there were any openings. That felt so AWESOME! I have never had anyone cry over my leaving, and that happened today. The one downside, is that I did not have the chance to say goodbye in person to everyone that I wanted to. They want to get you out the door as quietly as possible.
I could be pissed off and negative about all of this. I could. I mean, I have had two "adult" jobs in Chicago and been fired from both of them, which is so crazy as I had not been fired from a job before I moved here. Which is really weird that working in Chicago would get me fired TWICE. But that would be destructive and not help, so why bother. So, I am being a dork and quoting a line from The Sound of Music. "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." Which I do believe. The job I just lost was an open window that introduced me to some great people who really touched my life in a positive way and who I hope to stay in contact with.
But now I have to move forward. I have no idea where I am going to go from here, other than do the happy little march down to the unemployment office on Tuesday. Today will probably be spent going through the box of stuff I removed from my desk. I really kept a lot of shoes hidden under my desk.....
Ok, the tequila is kicking in and I am getting loopy. This is as good a place as any to say, "Always look on the bright side of life".....
20 May 2009
Auditions 2 & 3
I was not kidding when I said I am going to do this. I am taking 1/2 hour private voice starting in July, looking for an acting coach and am actively looking for a dance studio to get some ballet and maybe tap under my feet. And, I am actively going on auditions. I am not going in expecting to get anything just yet, but to get used to the audition process again and singing in front of people, which is way different from singing in my car. And I do not count karaoke as singing in front of people, cuz I don't sing, I goof off.
So Monday was audition #2 for the Oak Park Players production of "Sunday in the Park with George." I am going to admit that I have NEVER heard it! But, I want to get out there and audition, so what did I have to lose? I worked on "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked and was prepared to work on it at voice so I could do it with a piano, but that was cancelled last week. Oops. Oh well, I kept working on it and working on it and Monday I felt good! Except I forgot my headshot at home. =( Anyway, I went in, said "hello", told them that it was the first time doing the song with a piano and did really well. I had a couple of slightly sharp notes when I went high, but overall, it was a good performance. The director told me I did very good and as I left the room I thought I heard them say something positive about my tone. Very good experience and had me psyched for today's audition.
Audition #3, a production of "RENT", which I do know. I sang 16 bars from "I'm Not that Girl" and 16 bars from "Out Tonite" and spoke about not being able to say goodbye to my Grandma H when she passed by literal seconds. My neighbor, Emma Frost, came over and helped me work on belting and strengthening my head voice on Tuesday and she also helped me figure out which "RENT" song to sing. Did I oversing today? Did I not warm up enough? I don't know. I do know that I missed the first note of "...Girl" which had not happened in practice or auditions yet and the last note was low. On the upside, the notes that I had problems with before were stronger. "Out Tonite" was a unique beast. I have NEVER heard it with just a piano (hello, I just have the CD's from the movie and show). I did ok, I hit the octave jump pretty well, but it felt....off. Was I trying too hard? I know I am not even in the vocal range for any of the leads, but I wanted the chance to be Mrs. Cohen or Alexi Darling and all of the others those two play. I got a thank you from everyone and I don't think I impressed them at all. Hopefully I did not make a bad impression.
So, what am I taking out of this? 1) REALLY warm up my voice, don't think you have, make sure you have. 2) Confidence. 3) practice with a piano 4) there was some improvement in the fact that the "he could be that boy, but I'm not that girl" did not have sour notes.
Each audition is a chance to be seen and a way to get out there. I have to remind myself that the rejection is in no way personal and that I am not there yet with my voice. Every actor goes through this, and each and every audition is a chance to learn something. I learned that if my voice is scratchy and weird, drink more water and suck on a cough drop, especially when throat coat was not working. AND, I had an improvement over the last one. So, the step forward and the step back met, but the step forward will be the one that will stick. Now I have to look for the next audition! =)
So Monday was audition #2 for the Oak Park Players production of "Sunday in the Park with George." I am going to admit that I have NEVER heard it! But, I want to get out there and audition, so what did I have to lose? I worked on "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked and was prepared to work on it at voice so I could do it with a piano, but that was cancelled last week. Oops. Oh well, I kept working on it and working on it and Monday I felt good! Except I forgot my headshot at home. =( Anyway, I went in, said "hello", told them that it was the first time doing the song with a piano and did really well. I had a couple of slightly sharp notes when I went high, but overall, it was a good performance. The director told me I did very good and as I left the room I thought I heard them say something positive about my tone. Very good experience and had me psyched for today's audition.
Audition #3, a production of "RENT", which I do know. I sang 16 bars from "I'm Not that Girl" and 16 bars from "Out Tonite" and spoke about not being able to say goodbye to my Grandma H when she passed by literal seconds. My neighbor, Emma Frost, came over and helped me work on belting and strengthening my head voice on Tuesday and she also helped me figure out which "RENT" song to sing. Did I oversing today? Did I not warm up enough? I don't know. I do know that I missed the first note of "...Girl" which had not happened in practice or auditions yet and the last note was low. On the upside, the notes that I had problems with before were stronger. "Out Tonite" was a unique beast. I have NEVER heard it with just a piano (hello, I just have the CD's from the movie and show). I did ok, I hit the octave jump pretty well, but it felt....off. Was I trying too hard? I know I am not even in the vocal range for any of the leads, but I wanted the chance to be Mrs. Cohen or Alexi Darling and all of the others those two play. I got a thank you from everyone and I don't think I impressed them at all. Hopefully I did not make a bad impression.
So, what am I taking out of this? 1) REALLY warm up my voice, don't think you have, make sure you have. 2) Confidence. 3) practice with a piano 4) there was some improvement in the fact that the "he could be that boy, but I'm not that girl" did not have sour notes.
Each audition is a chance to be seen and a way to get out there. I have to remind myself that the rejection is in no way personal and that I am not there yet with my voice. Every actor goes through this, and each and every audition is a chance to learn something. I learned that if my voice is scratchy and weird, drink more water and suck on a cough drop, especially when throat coat was not working. AND, I had an improvement over the last one. So, the step forward and the step back met, but the step forward will be the one that will stick. Now I have to look for the next audition! =)
14 May 2009
Karaoke
I am not going to lie, I was excited when presented with the option of working karaoke this summer. It would be a way to perform in front of people (which I do not do on my M-F job) and it would be a fun part-time job. And when I went to orientation, I was under the opinion that I would have a decent break schedule.
Well....first lets start with the song selection. Heavy on the teenie bopper, not so much of the things that adults want to sing. No Journey, no Bon Jovi, no Fleetwood Mac...the list goes on and on. But boy, do I have Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, Camp Rock and country.
Second...breaks. *sigh* Boy, do I wish I had show breaks or something. I get 45 minutes from lunch, 10 of which are spent walking to and from the breakroom. If I am LUCKY I get a 15 minute break to go refill my water bottle. I don't get the breaks I thought I would when I signed up for this gig.
Finally, and really the most important...people REALLY do not know how to use microphones. Here is a quick lesson. Microphones were designed to pick up sound waves. They are pretty sensitive. Therefore it is not necessary to YELL AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS into one. I seriously have had pain in my left ear for a week because of this. Hearing loss due to people screaming...so not sexy. =)
Not that I mean to complain, but this has just gotten frustrating since I asked for the last weekend in May off so that I can go to my cousin's baby shower and then go to CP to visit my family for probably the ONLY time this summer...and was told that it probably would not be likely because they did not have anyone else to run karaoke! WTF!!! When the park is open during the week right now and I am not there, a manager who is not on OT or incurring OT, mans karaoke and they do not know if they can free someone up to do it once the park is open 7 days/wk. which it will be the weekend I asked off. Oh, did I mention I gave them a MONTHS notice? Yes, one month.
*sigh* I have to go listen to RENT to figure out 1 minute I can sing for an audition I hope I get a time for. Think Positive Mel, think positive.....
Well....first lets start with the song selection. Heavy on the teenie bopper, not so much of the things that adults want to sing. No Journey, no Bon Jovi, no Fleetwood Mac...the list goes on and on. But boy, do I have Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, Camp Rock and country.
Second...breaks. *sigh* Boy, do I wish I had show breaks or something. I get 45 minutes from lunch, 10 of which are spent walking to and from the breakroom. If I am LUCKY I get a 15 minute break to go refill my water bottle. I don't get the breaks I thought I would when I signed up for this gig.
Finally, and really the most important...people REALLY do not know how to use microphones. Here is a quick lesson. Microphones were designed to pick up sound waves. They are pretty sensitive. Therefore it is not necessary to YELL AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS into one. I seriously have had pain in my left ear for a week because of this. Hearing loss due to people screaming...so not sexy. =)
Not that I mean to complain, but this has just gotten frustrating since I asked for the last weekend in May off so that I can go to my cousin's baby shower and then go to CP to visit my family for probably the ONLY time this summer...and was told that it probably would not be likely because they did not have anyone else to run karaoke! WTF!!! When the park is open during the week right now and I am not there, a manager who is not on OT or incurring OT, mans karaoke and they do not know if they can free someone up to do it once the park is open 7 days/wk. which it will be the weekend I asked off. Oh, did I mention I gave them a MONTHS notice? Yes, one month.
*sigh* I have to go listen to RENT to figure out 1 minute I can sing for an audition I hope I get a time for. Think Positive Mel, think positive.....
07 May 2009
AUDITION!
I DID IT!!!! I went to an actual singing audition! Not only was it a singing audition, it was for Telsey & Company (NY casting agents) who are casting "Spiderman: Turn off the Dark." Yes, the title is more than a little cheesy, and I know, a Spiderman musical? Really!?!?!?? Well, the music/lyrics are by Bono and The Edge and the director is going to be Julie Taymor, so what is the harm in trying, right? Yes, I called in sick to work to do it today, but I have no vacations planned and I have only missed 2 days of work this year (both times I was legitimately ill), so.....
Now, I have had some voice lessons, but not many and most of my recent singing experience has been ye olde karaoke at Six Flags where I average about 3 songs a day. Yes, I was in Joseph... in Florida, but I didn't really sing for the audition, I just told them I wanted to know what I had to do to be considered for Mrs. Potiphar. And then they double cast me as a brother. Egads! No, it was fun and thanks to the E2Y Players for that opportunity. Other than that and random karaoke, my singing in public has been next to nil. So, this was a BIG DEAL!
Thing is (and yes, I am straying from the subject for a minute here)...I always let other people determine my happiness. I want to act, but we cannot afford to send you to acting classes. i want to go to an audition, that's nice, I worked all day and don't feel like spending my evening sitting at a theatre. You know, that kind of thing. And I was encouraged to study something "worthwhile" in college...so I always thought about it, but never DID it and along the way I developed a fear, a literal fear of auditions, where it became a thought that I was going to do so bad, why even bother. Problem with that thinking though is that once you start down that path, you start to believe the BS.
Anyway....so, I got up at my usual time today, took the buses to the dance studio and got in line. Was VERY surprised that at 9:30 I was #102! Yeah, shocking. This is Chicago, shouldn't the lines have been longer? Anyway, I sat, talked to the people who were in line before me, sat, listened to the song I was going to sing on my iPod, peed, listened to my iPod, drank some water, did the few vocal warm-ups I remembered from long ago voice lessons, peed again, read a couple of pages of my book, drank more water, continued the trend until a little after noon they called my name. And yes, they butchered my last name! =)
So, time to join ye olde casting line. We are lined up by number to wait in the hallway outside of the audition room. There are some strong belters in the mix! I am thinking to myself that this is just my opportunity to try, and that this is more for me to do it then to actually be considered for a part. Finally, it is almost my turn and the butterflies arrive. Then the person ahead of me leaves the room and it is my turn.
Taking a deep breath I step across the threshold onto the dance floor, shutting the door with a garbage bag over the window gently and say hello to the male and female sitting at the desk. They ask me what I am going to sing and....my brain freezes. I hear the lyrics, but what is the name of the song?? Finally, I tell them, just as I hit the mark. The gentleman tells me that I can begin when I am ready. Deep breath down through the diaphragm, focus and start "The bravest thing, I've ever done...." We had been told in advance that they were going to cut us off after 16 bars, and I didn't want to be cut off, so I pretty much stopped after 4 lines. I kind of wish I had kept going, especially since they had flipped over my pink cover sheet (we all had pink) and were looking over my resume. That's a good sign, right? I thanked them, and walked out of the room. I might have said something else, but I really, honestly do not remember. Once I stepped out and the girl from Battle Creek went in, I started shaking as I gathered my bag and coat. WOW! I just did a musical audition and I sounded better than I ever have!
I am not expecting to hear anything, but just the fact that I did it makes me feel so happy and accomplished. Now, I should probably find a Broadway-esque song for other musical auditions and maybe a rock song sung by a woman......suggestions?
Now, I have had some voice lessons, but not many and most of my recent singing experience has been ye olde karaoke at Six Flags where I average about 3 songs a day. Yes, I was in Joseph... in Florida, but I didn't really sing for the audition, I just told them I wanted to know what I had to do to be considered for Mrs. Potiphar. And then they double cast me as a brother. Egads! No, it was fun and thanks to the E2Y Players for that opportunity. Other than that and random karaoke, my singing in public has been next to nil. So, this was a BIG DEAL!
Thing is (and yes, I am straying from the subject for a minute here)...I always let other people determine my happiness. I want to act, but we cannot afford to send you to acting classes. i want to go to an audition, that's nice, I worked all day and don't feel like spending my evening sitting at a theatre. You know, that kind of thing. And I was encouraged to study something "worthwhile" in college...so I always thought about it, but never DID it and along the way I developed a fear, a literal fear of auditions, where it became a thought that I was going to do so bad, why even bother. Problem with that thinking though is that once you start down that path, you start to believe the BS.
Anyway....so, I got up at my usual time today, took the buses to the dance studio and got in line. Was VERY surprised that at 9:30 I was #102! Yeah, shocking. This is Chicago, shouldn't the lines have been longer? Anyway, I sat, talked to the people who were in line before me, sat, listened to the song I was going to sing on my iPod, peed, listened to my iPod, drank some water, did the few vocal warm-ups I remembered from long ago voice lessons, peed again, read a couple of pages of my book, drank more water, continued the trend until a little after noon they called my name. And yes, they butchered my last name! =)
So, time to join ye olde casting line. We are lined up by number to wait in the hallway outside of the audition room. There are some strong belters in the mix! I am thinking to myself that this is just my opportunity to try, and that this is more for me to do it then to actually be considered for a part. Finally, it is almost my turn and the butterflies arrive. Then the person ahead of me leaves the room and it is my turn.
Taking a deep breath I step across the threshold onto the dance floor, shutting the door with a garbage bag over the window gently and say hello to the male and female sitting at the desk. They ask me what I am going to sing and....my brain freezes. I hear the lyrics, but what is the name of the song?? Finally, I tell them, just as I hit the mark. The gentleman tells me that I can begin when I am ready. Deep breath down through the diaphragm, focus and start "The bravest thing, I've ever done...." We had been told in advance that they were going to cut us off after 16 bars, and I didn't want to be cut off, so I pretty much stopped after 4 lines. I kind of wish I had kept going, especially since they had flipped over my pink cover sheet (we all had pink) and were looking over my resume. That's a good sign, right? I thanked them, and walked out of the room. I might have said something else, but I really, honestly do not remember. Once I stepped out and the girl from Battle Creek went in, I started shaking as I gathered my bag and coat. WOW! I just did a musical audition and I sounded better than I ever have!
I am not expecting to hear anything, but just the fact that I did it makes me feel so happy and accomplished. Now, I should probably find a Broadway-esque song for other musical auditions and maybe a rock song sung by a woman......suggestions?
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