07 January 2009

Alone Again.....Naturally.

Ok, yes, I am quoting Hugh Grant in "Love....Actually", but that is how I feel. And I hate feeling like I am alone.

But, that is how I feel. I work in an office and I have been sick from work and people working near me have not even known that I was out. There are 12 people in the sales office, so......

I had a great New Years visit with someone I had not seen in a long time. I witnessed firsthand how a group of friends I had once been a part of had grown and evolved over the years and was still strong. I have seen how friends in college have stayed strong through the year, and I remain on the outside of it all.

Sure I have a community of friends online, who comment on my facebook status and every once in a while send me a note. But how many return my calls or call me? No matter how many activities I try to take part in, I still spend most nights alone in my apartment. Am I really that hideous??

I was alone in Orlando, but it never felt like this. Maybe it was because I was doing a job I loved while now I do a job that I tolerate and would skip out on if the chance presented itself. I left the job I loved because I felt like I needed to grow up and take control of my bills. But my bills are only less out of control and I have more credit card debt then when I left.

Well, I am rambling on, and boring even myself in the process, so with that I bid you goodnight.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

*hugs*

mary fran | frannycakes said...

i really do want to hang out with you! so next time i am in the city, you have to go out.

and we do need a lunch date. perhaps maggiano's? they have gluten free pasta :)

historicstitcher said...

You're not really anlone, you know. We're all here, and we were waiting for you all that time.

((hugs))

p.s. Try taking vitamin D3 to combat the SAD. Makes a HUGE difference for me!