#13 and the fact that I realized some things today.

Today was lucky audition #13. It was in the Equity offices (eep) for the Marriott Theatre. They had the Equity call yesterday and today was the non-Equity call. Once again, I ran into someone I had met at a previous audition who was cast in the show we auditioned for. Oh well, this IS only my 13th audition after all. I came in and they noticed I was nervous and told me not to be. I tried, but my voice is a little tired from singing "Losing My Mind" as many times as I have over the past 3 days. So of course, the note that I was stressing over was a bit...off...and of course I reached for my throat like an idiot. I was soft at the beginning, but at the key change I let it rip a bit, once again, not as much as I have in the past. All in all, it was a good experience, I cannot tell you what I am taking from it other than to make sure I do a very good warm-up before leaving my house, especially if I don't drive and do it in the car. And to not over think.

In other things, I realized as I was walking today that this is really the first time I have really buckled down to pursue my dream. In college I did not have the confidence in myself and let certain family members talk me out of studying it and doing something a bit more practical. Then in Orlando, I started to go on some auditions and made a slight attempt at getting an agent and taking classes, but I was focused on getting my degree and when I worked at Disney, I mostly worked nights, so I used that as an excuse to not do more than a few general auditions. In the past, what, 2 months (?) I have been on 13 auditions. 13! I have had new headshots taken, I am sending thank you cards out to every director I audition for within 24 hours of the audition and I am taking voice and acting lessons and taking them seriously. I am actively looking for dance classes that I can afford that fit into my schedule. I WANT to, nay, NEED to do this!! And while I have yet to be cast in anything, which I could let bring me down based on the people I know who have been cast their first time out, I have to remember different markets, different bodies, different experiences and let it go at that. I do know that my voice is stronger, I am getting better at cold readings and my nerves come and go.

Finally, I know it is bad to want, but more than any other audition I have been on, I really hope to be cast in the one I went on last night. It is one of my favorite books of all time and I have 2 versions of it on DVD. I don't want to hope too much, but it would be grand....